grandma esther

It is no secret the connection I felt with my grandma Esther. It was unexplainable. We never lived closer than 2,000 miles from each other and I only saw her face to face, maybe, 5 or 6 times before she passed in August. When I was in college we would write letters to each other. She was truly one of the most graceful and faithful women that I have known. 

During our times of writing, I would often ask her questions about my grandpa Crain. She had two young children at home, and she was 7 months pregnant with my dad when my grandpa Crain unexpectedly passed away in 1952. I always thought her story was so tragic, yet her incredible faith during her worst times was an inspiration. Never in a million years did I ever for a second think that our stories would become so similar. 

During this past week, I have thought about my grandma Esther so much. I kept hearing her words in my head over and over. When I got home I pulled out the letters she had written to me. While I have chosen to keep her letters to myself - I felt the need to share a part of one of her letters from 1999 about my grandpa Crain. She had told me the story of how they met, and about his untimely passing. She said:

"I dearly loved him and thought I could never live without him. But God showed me otherwise. Because when he died, God was so close and protective and helped me in every way. It was a terrific experience to have God to depend on solely".

It is so apparent to me now why God gave me this unexplainable connection to her. He knew what my future held and He knew the words that I would need to hear.

Over the coming days, months, and years as our family is tasked with figuring out our new normal - I will hold her words so close to me. It is my prayer - and I ask you all to pray with me - that God will make Himself so known to me, to our children, and to our families. There is a vast void in our lives now - and I know that only God can begin to fill that void. But I am so thankful that, even without my knowing, He had already started working well before this ever happened. I hope that grandma and Kyle have gotten a chance to meet in Heaven (since they never got to meet here on earth). Kyle knew about the connection I felt with her, and she knew exactly how much of my heart that Kyle held.